“what percent you on??”
“what percent YOU on??” pic.twitter.com/GoNGY3NsFz— ? (@grace_amw) December 10, 2017
Sam Allardyce's bluetooth headset is connected to a playlist that is just the sound of gravy being poured
— Blitzxan ⛄ (@SpaceGulag) December 10, 2017
I booked an Addison Lee & like 30mins went by. I called the driver to make sure they were still on the way. I kid you not Auntys exact words to me ‘it’s snowing, I cannot come and kill myself’
— Spice (@ShanellShanise) December 10, 2017
When he smile in his sleep and you trying to figure out how to enter his dream to find out what’s so funny pic.twitter.com/LOHvearpEf
— Kay (@KaylarWill) December 11, 2017
This and pussy with a lil hair got the same thing in common.. still gettin ate pic.twitter.com/vMx1FQxl0E
— ❄️ JAY ❄️ (@Jaay_Quiny) December 11, 2017
Wikipedia has been asking for money for years. They’re looking at these Keaton donations like pic.twitter.com/FoyKVw5Uoe
— AC (@ac__lang) December 11, 2017
You ever tried to do your homework as the teacher is collecting it? https://t.co/Wj9IMNMmUk
— c o r t í (@burnxout) December 11, 2017
You ever tried to do your homework as the teacher is collecting it? https://t.co/Wj9IMNMmUk
— c o r t í (@burnxout) December 11, 2017
The other day I ordered Chinese, came home and my mum had already bought me Chinese. Today I bought Mac n cheese ingredients, came home and my mum had already cooked mac n cheese.
Pls, tomorrow I’m buying Gucci shoes. ??
— ??♂️ (@PuddiSRC) December 11, 2017
Yesterday I sprant for the bus and the bus driver kept driving
— Maxwell Ranger (@jjnwaogu) December 11, 2017
Niggas called me “G-G-G-G-G-G Unit!” in grammar school cause I used to stutter. WHERE’S MY 50K?!
— Los (@GrapeSodaPapi) December 11, 2017
*sigh* german is so beautiful.. pic.twitter.com/92bfupsEdA
— Bionicle Sex ? (@FuggingBleb) December 11, 2017
This morning I went jogging but then I remembered Proverbs 28:1 which says “ the wicked shall run when no one is chasing them “….I went back home
— kwab?? (@kwab122) December 12, 2017
Imagine Burnley getting drawn at Barcelona, Sean Dyche sunburnt as fuck on touchline in socks n sandals
— Rossy Sharp (@rossysharp94) December 12, 2017
Chris Brown dropped 12 more songs …. leave us alone nigga
— ? (@C_obain47) December 13, 2017
Forehead kisses are how men absorb all the sense in your brain. Stay woke sis
— ThatMalawianGirl (@Chikoberry) December 13, 2017
First of all, my gun be In there https://t.co/FpxOASAYSf
— The Tattle Tale Strangler (@I85Shad) December 12, 2017
Shit happened to me before boy we was looking like Kane and Undertaker in a Hell in da Cell match https://t.co/ebApojzhSu
— D Smith (@__DSmith__) December 13, 2017
Shit happened to me before boy we was looking like Kane and Undertaker in a Hell in da Cell match https://t.co/ebApojzhSu
— D Smith (@__DSmith__) December 13, 2017
"You're not like the other guys that i've spoken to." pic.twitter.com/DHrVflKnOH
— Young Sauce Baby ? (@OhSo100m) December 13, 2017
If a chick buys you a Rolls Royce you have to leave her because she's done everything she can for you now.. Time to go conquer someone else now
— ??♂️ (@PuddiSRC) December 14, 2017
This guy goes my uni https://t.co/Z1J7rvY6kO
— Taff (@6775Taff) December 13, 2017
This guy goes my uni https://t.co/Z1J7rvY6kO
— Taff (@6775Taff) December 13, 2017
This guy goes my uni https://t.co/Z1J7rvY6kO
— Taff (@6775Taff) December 13, 2017
Lads think back to your last date. Think about the money you spent. Walk with me. Now imagine you put that on ripple or bitcoin? Is she even going to get you a christmas present?
Moral of the story? No dates
— #DISUNOMICS (@D1SUNOMICS) December 15, 2017
Lads think back to your last date. Think about the money you spent. Walk with me. Now imagine you put that on ripple or bitcoin? Is she even going to get you a christmas present?
Moral of the story? No dates
— #DISUNOMICS (@D1SUNOMICS) December 15, 2017
When you’re trying to look through a crowd of people to see if a ticket inspector just got on the DLR pic.twitter.com/GsHw1U0EbB
— Pierre (@MonClapped) December 15, 2017
SLAPPING A SKINNY GIRL ASS SOUND LIKE A SCREENSHOT
— cam ??? (@hateoncameron) December 12, 2017
A man was dancing with his boom box outside stratford and someone turned off his music and told him to stop embarrassing himself. 🙁
— Rum & Roti (@_MarieClaree) December 15, 2017
it be ya own niggas pic.twitter.com/QRDxJj9reN
— ducky boy (@eatjaredtweets) December 15, 2017
Me: uh oh someone’s under the mistletoe!
Raccoon I’ve cornered in the garage: [hisses angrily]
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) December 15, 2017
Later they'll say Yoruba men are not romantic smh https://t.co/bzqMPfaixT
— Wọlé II (@Kingwole) December 15, 2017
stop calling him zaddy if u taking care of him.. thats yo zon
— ? (@JAYVERSACE) December 16, 2017
Men are absolutely cancelled pic.twitter.com/TfdaMZmXbO
— sara (@acidicpeach) December 15, 2017
Them ones when you're so late you have to ignore the persons calls till you get there lool
— Sean (@Sean_O100) December 16, 2017
Have u ever tried to rush outa bed go toilet quickly and rush back to bed before u lose any 'tired' lmao
— lauren (@__louiselauren) December 13, 2017
it was only a matter of time pic.twitter.com/Qru1uv93Uu
— adam (@FutboiAdam) December 17, 2017
This nigga a straight fool ???? put a fuckin gift card in here and everything ????????? thanks bae damn ?? pic.twitter.com/vVgyEUb3hR
— Miss Olivia? (@LivDaDon) December 15, 2017
Griezmann rubbing the black spray off his body in the shower https://t.co/fc3Koa6XAN
— Safia ?? (@safeeyaar) December 17, 2017