Aug 31 2016 BY Ndomupei Doherty

Beginning in Game week 2, because fashionably late is in, is our new column: Premier League Heroes & Villains of the week will give a rundown of those who deserve plaudits or derision for their actions during the previous week. Nobody is exempt from the list; anything and anybody involved in the premier league can be mentioned accordingly.



  1. Aaron Ramsey’s haircut

Honestly I thought the blonde was bad however to that old adage “it can always get worse”. I don’t know where to start, why is it silver? What made him think that was a great idea, next the design is two parallel curved lines which generally look terrible. Also designs in your hair I may need to go back to tell the 14 year old me that those are cool after all. Overall a terrible idea and terrible execution. The judges score nul point.




  1. The FA for covering up Mark Clattenberg’s Tatts

Mark Clattenberg has decided to get the biggest moments of his professional refereeing career tattooed on himself as reminder to his achievements. Honestly is there no better reason to get a tattoo. At the current moment he has the champion’s league and the euro’s finals tattooed on his arms.  Instead of the FA allowing Mark to show off a great achievement for an FA approved referee, the old stuffy shirts at the FA have apparently had Mr Clattenberg to wear long sleeved tops to cover up. Oh no whatever next is this rebel going to do he may get a piercing or one of those punk rock haircuts. I mean have the FA looked at almost any footballer these days.


  1. Arsene Wenger

As an arsenal fan I could go on a massive rant here however there is no quote more applicable to the situation at arsenal more than “you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain”. That moment was after we thrashed Aston villa 4-0 in the FA cup. Honestly I’m not going to go into it if you want to know how arsenal fans feel go on any social media and you will see. However he is starting to turn into some kind of pantomime villain with the arsenal faithful. With one point from a possible six even his philosophies are not being backed up on the pitch.


  1. Christian Benteke

252 Miles is the distance between crystal palace and Burnley. I know it was probably some social media intern who made the mistake however his name is on the facebook so he is the one who gets the grief. Burnley is up north crystal palace is in London, now I’ve never been to Burnley mind you so it could be a sprawling metropolitan city like London then I would see how you could confuse them. However what is not acceptable is that one of these teams wasn’t a premier league last season. They don’t even wear the same colours.


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  1. Liverpool’s Back Four

Oh my where to start, everybody and their grandmothers said that Liverpool need to invest in their defence and this was before Toure left and Sakho went on peaceful protest. Now at first I was going to single out Moreno however he didn’t even play and their defence was as safe as the front of a black Friday queue. 2 games and 5 goals conceded is abysmal. You can’t even blame the keeper for any of those goals either that is how you know that there is a big problem. With this current defence Liverpool need to do something drastic as they will keep shipping goals like amazon all season long



  1. Big Zlatan

What can anyone say that hasn’t been said already? Like a duck to water is not the best way to describe Zlatans start in the premier league more like a shark. Scoring both united goals as well being the best player on the pitch that has 96 million Pogba on it is no easy feat however if anyone can do it is the one and only Big Zlatan.




  1. Curtis Davies

Curtis Davies has been the star performer for hull city so far. The 31 year old defender has been a leader for his team so far with fantastic performances. Amidst everything happening at the club the senior players are required to step up something which Davies has done with no issues.  I am also putting him in here because I may not get another chance this season. Also he looks exactly like Marvin from JLS so there is that.


  1. Pogba Brothers Dance

Now if I was a footballer worth almost 100 million and made 400,000 pounds a week before tax and it was mums birthday coming up I would be laughing as you can literally get her anything. However Paul Pogba and twin older brothers Mathias and Florentin who are both professional footballers as well showed that sometimes it’s the meaning of the present not the price. As the video has been shown everywhere the brothers had a dance routine for their mum for her birthday. Also those guys can dance it wasn’t enough that they were all given athletic genes.




  1. Hull City

With a caretaker manager and only 13 senior players available you could say that hull entered the season a tad unprepared. This was evident with the fans being close to revolt on opening day. However it’s funny how things can change in two weeks. The may not be the prettiest girl at the dance but they have got spirit. Currently one of four teams that have a 2 wins, Hull have managed to get their fans behind them and cheer their efforts.


  1. Stuani Double

Is there no better way to make your premier league debut than scoring twice? Not only did he get the three points for his team but that first goal. My god from out of nothing. Two keepers weren’t saving that on their best day. What a way to introduce yourself.